New Acquaintances

Have you ever met someone new and trusted him or her implicitly? I do not typically trust or disclose much personal or pertinent information about myself to strangers or casual acquaintances but when I do, it is because I feel like I haven nothing to lose by holding back. I guess that is how I have felt lately. I instinctively felt that I could trust this person with myself because sHe knew who I was and where I was headed or what I wanted in life or in death. I can’t describe it any other way and for some reason, I feel like I want to express every part of it, expose the darkest corners of that dream and let you see inside.

I got that feeling recently from someone in real life and it caught me off guard. I disclosed information that I have been holding on to for a long time. I did not think twice or hesitate about disclosing it. I even felt this person was trustworthy and worthy of my truth. This has not happened to me a lot but it has started happening with more frequency. At first, I met a few people that I trusted with vaguely personal things, and then I met many people—complete outsiders from my world—but I felt that they were not outsiders, they were insiders and they knew me. They knew the deepest parts of me because they experienced, felt, and understood the same experiences.
Lately I have been focusing only on violin studies and my personal puja. I do not worry if people do not see me at the temple; in fact, I have stopped going every day. There was a time when I had to go to temple for darshan once a day. It was compulsory. Now I do not really care and many times I do not even bother going to feasts for very long if I am not feeling it. Instead, I stay home and worship my personal deities. I gather flowers and leaves from my garden for Them and bathe Them with a simple abhishek. I give them Tulasi leaves and sing for Them without fancy melodies but with heartfelt lyricism.
All right, so in my dream, I travelled to Mayapur with some friends. We would be there about a month or so and I heard that Indradyumna Maharaj was coming back to India around that time so I brought my violin with me. I waited around the Mayapur Chandradaya Mandir in hopes of seeing some familiar faces or making new friends. As it turned out, a few young women were walking by, clad in bright yellows, pinks, and whites, and carrying instruments, costumes, and sewing baskets. I immediately fell in with them and befriended their leader. They were all from Eastern Europe and met at various events. The leader was hand-sewing new outfits that employed Indo-Western fused fashion elements. I was taken aback because I have never seen another devotee wear, much less create that kind of garb for temple activities, and she was doing it by hand. I have experience with sewing machine but I will be the first to admit that my hand stitching needs more practice and I realized this would be an excellent way to learn and improve my craft. Interested, I asked her if she needed help, an assistant, to press, gather, pleat, baste and so on. I explained that I had some experience but I wanted to learn more from her and she agreed. First, I noticed she was making pleated trim by hand so I offered to show her a technique I developed that made the process much faster. When I showed her, her face lit up and she said, “That’s brilliant! What else do you know? Quickly we became best friends by exchanging methods and techniques; she also loved music and studied back home so naturally Maharaja brought her along during Harinam tours and concerts. Her quarters hosted a dozen other girls, equally talented in various fields. Some girls were dancer/choreographers, others costume designers, other actresses and directors, and some were painters. When they learned that I studied violin, they asked me to join their troupe and I was so excited that they invited me in!
Later on, I went back to the temple where I saw a disturbing sight. My mother travelled to India and was lying in a cot sick and weak. I went to see her but she said it was merely jetlag and she’d been worse before. I told her that she should have told me should would come so I could arrange lodging for her but she said, “No, just let me sleep and close the door.” When I opened the door to exit, rays of light streamed in, and I noticed some boys in bed with her, my nephews! All four curled up with grandma, snuggled in close like wolf pups in a den. I asked her why she brought them along, scolding her, “Don’t you know they can’t stay in these quarters? This is for the local pilgrims who cannot afford lodging! They need beds, not woven cots! The heat will get to them, they need running water, showers, and AC!” Next to them, I saw another devotee I recognized from Dallas. I was stunned; certainly, an American can afford a room in the guesthouse, so why was he bunched up on a horrible cot in the underbelly of the building? When I kissed my nephews and mother, they felt hot! I felt obligated to check the other devotee as well, so I touched his foot and sure enough, he was burning up with fever and his body was covered in sweat. Disturbed and embarrassed, I walked away in search of a devotee friend who runs the guest services in hopes of securing a couple rooms for my family and possibly this other devotee. I searched around the compound but I could not find him and he is usually easy to spot because he rides around on a bright blue motorcycle. Instead, I ran into my new friends and told them what was going on. They said they had some friends who would gladly take them in. Their house was outside of the temple compound but a short walk away. They also had AC, indoor plumbing with hot water and plenty of space for four young boys. I was relieved. Maybe these women were heaven sent, I thought, they were the loveliest and kindest ladies I ever met and they took me in like one of their own.

                                                                                                     

Simple Reckonings

Today was my first day of the semester, and it was thoroughly enjoyable. Except for the cold weather, everything was great. I have not attended my self defense and Taekwondo class in about a month. I was planning to immerse myself deeper into my martial arts practice this winter break, but I think The Lord may have other plans for me. I want to take a semester of martial arts on campus, at least, to better discipline myself and regulate my practice. On Sunday I had the opportunity to perform a duet with Bob at church during the Prelude. I am so flattered that he is impressed with me, and I could swear Juanita almost cried during the service when she heard Be Still My Soul. If I can satiate one soul, and thereby please The Lord with my service, it will make my life fruitful.
Piano class is going to be another enjoyable challenge. Yet again, I found the mercy of Sri Guru personified in an excellent professor, Ms. Jones. She is a thoroughly witty, opinionated, and humorous lady; I think I should do well under her tutelage.
I frequently hear students complain about their incompetent professors, but I am starting to believe this is a myth. There are probably very few incompetent professors, if any. I think it is more likely the students are incompetent, and lack a sense of accountability. It is quite common to blame someone else for your own mistakes, shortcomings, and flaws. It is easier to blame someone else for your problems rather than admit fault and take rectifying measures.
Today Citravasini taught me a new recipe for non-yeast rolls; she says the recipe can be adapted with any filling, whether cinnamon, cocoa, poppy seeds, or nuts. I will try to share it here with pictures. They resemble cinnamon rolls, and are prepared much in the same way yet omit yeast leavening. They are soft and tender due to the use of cottage cheese in the dough to condition it. Additionally, I am almost finished with another set of deity outfits, though, they are probably too small for the gurukul deities. I may have to alter the outfit in order to fit Their Lordships' height. I am not sure, however, I hope a good night's sleep will bring some ideas. Tomorrow, I plan to purchase textbooks, practice my instruments, and sew Deity outfits.

Krishna help me, my mind is thoroughly active and restless. Time is my enemy.  Even a thousand arms and heads would not accommodate me. If only I could expand myself to engage fully in each of my services. Lord of  all mystics, achieve this feat for me, please. 

'Mala' Bead Bag

I made this 100% cotton bead bag with fully lined pocket and Velcro closure. Available to the public. Inquire within.

This Japa mala bag turned out great! I'm so proud of this project. 

I would like to start making devotional apparel a regular addition to my projects. 

Homemade Sugar Wax

This homemade wax is a thrifty way to to look your best without the harsh chemicals, hot waxes and mess!
Let me tell you how to make it quickly and easily in your own home with few ingredients in ten minutes. 

First: You need a cup of sugar, two tablespoons of water and two tablespoons of lemon or lime juice.
Bring your ingredients to a rolling boil on high heat for two minutes. 

Your mixture will have a lot of froth and will look like this. Reduce the heat to medium and cook it for another two minutes.

After four minutes on medium heat it will look like this. At this time reduce the heat to low .

Seven minutes on low heat. Thick, syrup-like consistency with a warm amber color. Keep cooking it for another three minutes.

At ten minutes on low heat it will start to look and smell like caramel. Shut off the heat and turn your sugar wax into a glass oven-safe baking dish or pan and sprinkle it with water.

Sprinkle it with water to cook and soften the wax and work it in with your spatula. Continue 'kneading' the wax adding very little water until it becomes soft and supple. Use your spatula not your hands because it is really hot!

Voila! You have got yourself an all-natural body and facial wax which is gentle enough for sensitive skin and strong enough for tough to remove body hair. You apply this wax in the opposite direction of hair growth and pull down. You can use this wax with or without strips, you can find methods for sugar waxing on youtube. Enjoy!

Knit Days, Rasam Nights

Just back from New Orleans, I decided to keep myself occupied until school starts. I added length and half-sleeves to my chevron stitch cardigan this week. For those who need it the pattern is available for free at milobo.wordpress.com, it's a top down yoke and really versatile pattern. I couldn't get a photo of the adjusted sweater because I'm wearing it and I can't find my camera for the life of me. (Actually, I'm sure its right in my desk but I'm still in denial about the mess down there and I'd prefer not to look.)
I promised to post my version of the patiala salwar and I'm getting to it as soon as I find three yards of spare fabric laying around. :)  In fact, I have a ton of saris laying around but since they are Bengali handloom saris, they are much too thin to make salwars with. I can make a bunch of lined gopi skirts or ghagras with the thick slips inside instead and I'll post those as well.
I've been practicing my knitting again and this time I decided to use a bulkier yarn to make a simple scarf. I swear I'm a crocheter not a knitter. I also said knitting was for losers but I also forget that I'm stubborn as a mule and will not submit to the knitting gods. I shall master knitting! SOMEDAY!
Lately we've been having a lot of rasam, its easy to prepare and it tastes like tomato soup's kick-ass Indian cousin.  The first time I tried it, I felt nauseated all day and swore it off for my lifetime. But again, I forgot that I'm stubborn as hell and would not let a little nausea defeat me. The other day, (I forgot which day it was supposed to be below freezing again), we went to Maharaj's house to drip all the faucets and open the cabinets when I spotted a package of Rasam powder in his kitchen. I knew it was a sign, I hadn't yet been able to get down to the Indian market to fetch me some and last time I totally forgot to pick it up and I ended up with two packs of fish curry masala instead.. I was annoyed by my absent-mindedness and so I yanked the powdered spices. This winter there is gonna be a lot of frickin' Rasam  because it is so quick and  easy prepare that you could feasibly make some right away and have it within a half hour! All you need is some tomatoes (3), grated ginger, spices (curry leaves, mustard seeds and 1 teaspoon rasam powder) and oil or ghee for frying. Boil and peel the tomatoes and blend it along with your ginger, a few curry leaves and water. You can also add a green chile for more heat. Heat some oil or ghee in your saucepan and fry the mustard and fresh curry leaves. Add the tomato puree, spices and salt and boil for five minutes. Add more water and boil it for another five minutes. Offer and enjoy!
I never had rasam before because it smelled too  pungent, it usually contained onion or garlic and each time it was usually on a train. Apparently Indian Railways likes to gorge their passengers on Rasam and breadsticks and I had no idea that such a combination was even possible! In my experience its usually not a good idea to combine spicy meals and travel; I never personally made this mistake because 1) I'm not an idiot. 2) I don't eat garbage from a plane or train or otherwise 3) I'm not naturally inclined toward spicy foods but I learn from others' mistakes well. Now that I've discovered rasam and confirmed that it is not decidedly gross as I thought from my previous railway encounters, I'm a fanatic. It really helps open up my sinuses and clearing up colds, its perfect for those cold evenings when you need something to really warm you up but it is really acidic so take care not to over indulge if you have a weak stomach! 

Nothing To It

Today I finally checked my Intense Debate account and moderated the one comment in my moderation folder. One, single, lonely comment. How sad. Can you hear the crickets chirping over there as loudly as they are here? Though my blog views aren't sky-rocketing and I'm not getting a million comments here, I still want to write stuff. It doesn't have to be groundbreaking or introspective or emotionally revealing... blah blah blah. I may have set some precedents here that I'm not necessarily comfortable with all the time. I realise I haven't written anything in a while and there's good reason for it.
Well, I've been trying to get my shit together. Really and truly. So, there isn't any drama or projects or breaking news or tragedy to share but that's a good thing. The most tragic thing that happened to me recently was that I got sick and then my kid got sick. I took him to the doctor and then we had to wait a really long time to fill his prescription. I couldn't remember to take my own medicine, let alone be responsible for another living being. Complete and utter misery, I know.
I need my eyes examed soon. I'm starting classes this spring semester and I'm  ready for this next phase of my life. I'm not jubilant, I mean, it's not gushing out from my every pore but I'm happy with my life. Satisfied. But that's about it... don't ask me specifics about my education because I don't have a damn clue. Don't you dare ask me what I'll study or what majors I'm considering because I'm not even ready to be tied down yet! I'm heading in the general direction of my goal and that's sufficient for now-- Arts. Sciences has too much mathematics for me. Not that I hate Math but I don't LOVE Math. Me and Math aren't gonna get hitched or move in together and have a bunch of rug-rats out of wedlock. Math is more of an acquaintance of mine... we're not even that close anymore. I don't even feel like striking up polite conversation with Math. We just leave each other the hell alone. It's awkward when we see each other and there isn't a third party to act as a social buffer. Especially in lonely corridors. : \
Yep. 

Sewing 'Patiala' Salwaar

I just wanted to share a new project I completed yesterday. A couple days back someone asked me if I could make those really baggy salwaar pants or patiala salwaar. It's been a while since I made a salwaar so I decided to refresh. I have to say I've outdone myself, its a comfy fit with just the perfect ease. Here's a photo Krishna Chandra took of me modeling the new famously baggy pants. I'll have to post photos about this topic detailing how to make a patiala salwaar later. That and other cool projects such as a gored skirt, lengha/gopi skirt, choli and possibly churidaar.

Diwali Lights

Rangoli/ Alpana designs on my porch.

Different parts of India celebrate Diwali or Dipavali a little differently but what remains constant are lights. Lots of frickin' lights.
In Bengali culture, Diwali coincides with Kali puja and typically it is a huge affair. Everyone gets dressed up in the evenings to walk around the neighborhood and take darshan of the local Kali thakur, clay forms of the Goddess and decorates their homes with candles, ghee lamps and electric lights. While I do enjoy Kali puja, I love decorating the home with lights and alpana even more which is why my favorite festival has to be Lakshmi puja.
In South India women decorate their homes with rice flour mandalas or kolams daily and ancient kolams range from the simple to ridiculously elaborate and intricate designs.

My last edition was my sloppiest, my back was aching.

In North India the use of a wide variety of colored powders, sand and flour are used to make rangolis. Vivid and bright-- red, yellow, green, orange and blue are not only beautiful to look at but also liven up the atmosphere and look very festive.

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Tealight candles illuminate the walkway to my doorstep.

I prefer the traditional rice flour method as it is bright enough to show on even dark surfaces and will stay longer when dried. You make a paste by soaking some rice flour in water preferably overnight. When you're ready to use your paste, simply add more water to your desired consistency. I like it thin and apply it with a cotton ball or my hands but you could use pretty much anything from your hands to a paintbrush, or even a stencil blotter..

Pondering and such

 Well, it's been a really long time since I blogged last-- exactly a month. I'm sorry I've let my blog sit for so long but if it's any consolation, I haven't been writing in my journal either so you know there isn't anything worth mentioning even in passing. I've been pretty busy these past couple of weeks with class and preparing myself for more classes. I don't want to take on too much at a time as I don't know what my capacity for coursework is, how stressed out I might become or even if I'll be able to manage my time wisely. Besides that, there is nothing really going on in my life.

I've been thinking more about my education and where I want it to take me, career-wise. I am more lost and confused about a career path than I was fifteen years ago. I can honestly say my twelve-year-old self had a more defined sense of purpose in life. I guess my general interests have changed but specifically, the only thing that's really changed since then is my spirituality. When I was twelve, I was trying to distance myself as much as possible from crochet and crafts, as it was no longer 'cool' and instead obsessed about violin and violin mastery. I was really obsessed, I mean, I used to write poems and make artwork about my instrument, music and violin.

  I don't have that one-pointed vision anymore and, though I'm glad I've broadened my general interests, I still wish I had that yogic mental prowess I had then. It's laughable if you really think about it carefully. I was strong-willed, determined, patient, and extremely mature in my musical endeavors. I wonder if I still have that energy and enthusiasm in me. Can I focus my energy and enthusiasm towards a higher purpose and reach my goal?

I guess you're wondering if I'm going off topic and I wonder that too. I write in cryptic and vague language, sometimes alluding to different topics or even writing in hidden and double meanings. I know, I've been doing that a lot lately but I'll let you figure it out.

মাদ্রী দেবী দাসী 

More Realizations

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time with my personal journal, one of the reasons I'm blogging less these days. I've acquired several diaries over the years from friends and family and started journal keeping in all of them. Over the years my writing was scattered over several journals, if you wanted a complete understanding of my life, you'd need all seven or eight or... I lost count. It's ridiculous, that's not even counting the composition books and notebooks I purchased on my own. I decided a while back that I would finish writing in one journal exclusively before moving onto the next one, reverting back to their chronological order in which they were received. I'm writing in the black duct-taped one now, I'm lining it in pencil so I can also work on my penmanship. I'm also practicing my Bengali along with my English alphabet to refine my handwriting and make it something more consistent. I found a nice website about Italics and other handwriting that I'd like to share with you-- Italic Handwriting Directory-- it is really neat and a great place to admire lovely penmanship, even if you're not familiar with calligraphy, you'll certainly fall in love with the beautiful style and elegance therein.

Right now I'm working on a cardigan called Chevron Lace cardigan, the pattern is available from the crafter herself at her blog, it's a wonderful site but unfortunately it's inactive. You can still find her patterns at Ravelry and I love the simple cardigan pattern so far. Still making several doilies in the Autumn Reflections pattern. And yes, I really do need that many doilies. Why in the world am I working a cardigan in the middle of spring? It has occurred to me that it's best to work your winter patterns in the spring or summer, that way you get more time to plan and make changes to your finished work before it's ready to wear. Also, I desired a caplet or shawl for hanging around the house, it's not so strange if you think about it. Over here in the land of central air conditioning and wooden crawl spaces, the houses are always chilly, drafty or just plain freezing. Especially in the summer.

Last night I got really sick with food poisoning and even though I was deathly ill, somehow I still managed to meditate and focus on the Holy Name. Sri Harinam helps me a lot when I'm in trouble, ill, mentally or emotionally disturbed. I chant constantly, aloud or silently, and beg the Name to reveal truth to my heart. I prayed and cried out to the Lord, I wanted mental clarity and strength. When I get sick, I start to panic and fear the worst case scenario, panicking only worsens my condition, so I try my best to control my mind. I tried my best to chant, keep myself calm and surrendered to the shelter of Sri Nityananda Swarup.
Of course, I always get these really wonderful realizations, it seems kind of macabre to say it but the day afterward, I relish it. I can reflect on the Lord's mercy and how he reveals Himself at our weakest hours. Last night's realizations were exactly what I was praying for these past several months. I couldn't unlock this code for the life of me. I knew it would  take a huge blow to the head for it to sink in, and boy, was I right! The Lord is so merciful, if you simply cry, beg, plead with a sincere heart for His shelter, He'll make proper arrangements and reveal tattva to you when the time is appropriate. Another thing I realized, it's through the process of purging that we rid ourselves of impurities, sometimes we have to endure that painful process, since we have so many anarthas in our hearts, it takes a long time. With forbearance and determination we can make it to our desired goal but we pray for the spriritual strength and endurance of Lord Nityananda Ram, otherwise the journey is implausible. We just have to keep on trekking, no matter what. Determination, patience and enthusiasm- that is the instruction of Sri Rupa Goswamipad.

Jay Sri Sri Guru Gouranga! Jay Nityananda Balaram! Jaya Sri Hari nama!
♫ Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Ram Hare Ram Ram Ram Hare Hare ♪

Active-ity

Pencil skirt and blouse in gauze.

I finished a couple projects and wanted to photograph my work so I could share with you. I started a pencil skirt recently because I wanted a little change in my wardrobe and I thought a fitted
short skirt would be a pleasant change. The blouse is a little big, though; I measured everything generously but neglected to look over the finished garment sizes. Apparently, the garment has a lot of ease designed into it already, so I ended up with a blouse two sizes too big and I had to take it in. I still have to do some adjustments but I'll make sure to look over my patterns more carefully next time. Maybe I'll wrap it up and give it to my sister or mom. :)

I finished the first of Autumn Reflections doily, it's beautiful; now that I know the pattern, I want to start making several and piece them together. Chandaneswar requested that I give the first one to Srila Prabhupada, for his table. I'm weaving the ends and blocking as we speak. The written pattern is available at this site, you can check it out for yourself!

Close-up of Autumn Reflections

Well, that's all I wanted to write about today. Chandaneswar prabhu has been suggesting several documentaries for me to watch lately, I thought that all this sitting should do some good, so I started crocheting or sewing while I watch. The result is that I have successfully multi-tasked my way into several new outfits. Hurray. The weather has been really nice, during the Ram Navami festival, the kids had a little carnival, you can check out more photos of the fun games and crafts they did at my online album. Beautiful Garden, Spring Carnival, Ram Nauvami.

Simply Sewing

Today is Ekadasi (well it is in my neck of the woods) and while normally I dedicate myself to chanting a bunch of rounds or reading several chapters of devotional literature, today I opted to do a ton of sewing. There isn't much of note to mention but I'll mention the items anyway. I found a red choli blouse I cut ages ago and decided to finish it today, I just have to add the hook and eye closures.. Unfortunately, it's not exactly my size anymore and so I'll sell it at my next yard sale, hopefully. I have a petticoat that has been waiting to be completed for about a month, it was an alternation project for my sister and I'll get to that next.  I'm thinking about making a dress for an event next month, some pants and couple more blouses. I finished a top in gauze last week and I'm altering a gored skirt to accommodate my shape better. I found out I look terrible in pleated gored skirts, maybe I'm not wearing the proper blouse with it to compliment my figure. Or maybe I've gained too much weight to rock the pleated or shaped skirts anymore. :)
We had a meeting at the gurukul today wherein the teachers and principal made a presentation for the future of the school. I'll provide a link here for anyone who is interested in a Krishna Conscious centered education within an urban setting with a closely-knit congregation and accredited, qualified and caring teachers.
The school, TKG Academy in Dallas, is on the same block as Kalachandji's Restaurant and Palace, the only vegetarian school in Dallas, open and friendly to other denominations and non-denominational families and features a low student to teacher ratio-- you know your child will get the focused attention he needs. We seriously considered homeschooling Krishna Chandra for the longest time and did, successfully, as you all know. He's a wonderful reader, builder and designer of wooden block villages, Lego afficionado etc. but as he grew older and more energetic, I found it hard to focus my attention in a productive way. Luckily, I had a lot of help from my sister during that intense growth period and plenty of devotional literature to keep us both satisfied. Today, Krishna Chandra is cultivating both his spiritual and academic pursuits in a safe and caring environment; he loves his teachers, learning and his new friends at school. I couldn't be happier with him either.

Alta Madness

Well, this past week was unusually warm, even for a Texan winter. I decided to break in my new ankle-bells since it was warm enough to finally wear sandals again. Of course, this meant I needed to start treating my feet if I was ever to get them in a pair of flip-flops! The nice thing about winter is that my feet stay pretty warm and cozy in their socks and bulky shoes-- so there was little work to be done on them. I remembered that today is tritiya, the perfect tithi for beauty treatments so I gave myself a manicure, pedicure and trimmed my hair a little bit. This was my first time trimming my own hair without supervision but I have to say it came out pretty good.
I  got out my alta and mehendi design books to start practicing for the upcoming Spring. I can't wait to decorate my feet but for now I practiced only on my hands.

Alta is a red dye used for decoration in India, especially in Bengali brides.  Nowadays, alta is used very rarely -- usually only by dancers and on special occasions like Durga puja.

You can design alta on your hands and feet too, all you need is some alta, a design book and wooden stick. A bamboo skewer, orange stick or toothpick can work perfectly, you can even use a thin brush. The art motifs I used came out of a mehendi book; I simply painted them onto my hand using a simple wooden pencil fashioned out of a skewer. I purchased my alta at a local Indian market, they usually keep it with the puja and decorative items.

The inside has a simple highlighting of the fingertips and dots on the palm.
 

More elaborate motifs: flowers, vines and blossoms accentuate the natural lines of the hand.
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I'll keep up the alta decorating and post more images as they come available. The batteries on my camera died so I wasn't able to get better shots, these are from my mobile. :(  

Craft Habit

Today I'm working on a new pair of socks, this pair will be knitted on double-point needles, unlike my previous ones. This autumn I was busy crocheting away and made several pairs of socks. I made myself two pairs, one for a friend and another pair for my husband. The pair I'm working on now will be for our local temple's Srila Prabhupada; this is the first knitted project I'll work and though I know it's risky, I'm going to try and work these size 3 dpns like a pro. Wish me luck, I know I'll need it! I wish I had photos of the crocheted socks I made but I already gave my friend his pair and wore my pairs ( I don't feel comfortable photographing my socks for you, even though they're clean, as it might degrade your spiritual standing : P)
I was at Wal-Mart looking for knitting needles today when my husband remembered that we needed a new picture frame for our spiritual master's photo; I agreed to look around with him but as I followed behind him, we passed the fabric section and just like a sultry seductress or crippling addiction, it lured me in. I was a goner before my husband even realised I was missing. Several minutes later, he came wandering back my way and found me roaming around looking at plaid flannel and fantasizing about all the flannel shirts I could make for myself and dress up like Al from Home Improvement... I would look totally hot in a flannel shirt and jeans.  ::sigh::
Today was weird, it seems to me that there was a lot of friction between friends, a lot of disagreement and discord in the air, it might have been Punarvasu nakshatra along with the Sun in Vrschika.. who knows?

Up, Up and Away

Today I've started working a new project for the winter season. I figured that if I started them now I'll have them finished by next week or week after in time for the cold and rainy season. Also, I've been knit stitching a scarf for my husband but it's taking a long time, as scarves tend to do, and he's asked me to give up on it. I think I have a better chance of just half double crocheting a scarf all the way and making it bulky using double strands. We'll see. In the meantime, I'm going to work on my sock skills. Knee socks are next on my to-do list.  The tunisian-broomstick lace scarf is kinda almost finished, I haven't worked on her since last week. Probably. I think. I'll try and get in a few rows today. God I hate the material body, I can only crochet so much in a day before my hands get tired or stiff and I have to remember to drink and eat at the appropriate times, go to the bathroom, wrist exercises etc. Why is it such a hassle to maintain the body? Why can't it be simple? Anyhow... I have to remember to do these things or my husband will kill me; okay, yell at me and possibly slap me really hard on the face. Okay, he'll just roll his eyes in contempt, but, isn't that exceedingly violent? You have no idea what he puts me through. ::sigh::

I made a dress using Simplicity SewSimple pattern E1988 and a lavender/purple synthetic sari. I want to make my own full slip to use as a lining, though, I won't be able to wear it at the temple or during winter, unless I wear thermal leggings or thigh high leg-warmers too. LEG-WARMERS! I need to put those on my list too along with garter belts to hold them up. Winter is great for crochet and knit projects, you can get really creative. Summer and spring is nice too, bikinis, beach bags, sun-hats, ahhh. I'll remember to photograph my projects so you can see what progress I've made so far.

Today I forgot to do my pranayam/yoga in the morning, well, actually I was a little rushed. I didn't wake up until six am and got into the shower late. I needed to prep the offerings, bathe, dress and decorate the Deities with about half an hour left before Krishna Chandra woke up. Luckily he woke up late too, everything else was on time but I had to sacrifice my yoga until after shopping this morning. I feel better now, I did bhastrika, agnisarkriya and anulom vilom but no yoga or stretches but I think I can get it in this afternoon. I'll just turn on a DVD and get it done before I flip out and murder someone again. Don't ask. Okay he was a fly but he was really pissing me off, I was trying to finish my drink and watch a movie but he kept interrupting with his buzzing.

Yesterday I was feeling anti-social and lonely and down and moody etc so I pushed myself out of my shell and tried to socialize with humans a little bit but didn't help much, eh. Whatever. I still feel a little bit of the blues coming on but I figured that if I listen to enough White Album, maybe it will pass. No? It'll cause instances of madness and even homicidal rage?
Okay, Eagles it is, I guess.
I gotta split. No, that would be painful!

Sringar

Today I'm working on completing a new dress I've been working on these past two days. Day one I did most of the cutting, day two, interfacing and stitching the bodice and today, hopefully I will finish it. I only have to stitch the skirt and pockets and voila! 

The other day, while searching for sweaters and scarves, I found a bunch of clothes and bangles I haven't seen since my trip to India. Yesterday, two friends dropped by to look at saris, while I was going through the collection, I realised how many gorgeous frickin' saris I have. All are cotton Bengali handloom, তাঁত সাড়ি and several are intricately hand-embroidered tangail,  টাঙ্গাইল; I also  found tons of silver jewelry, in Rajasthani style-- heavily detailed and bulky sitting around collecting dust in storage bins so today I've decided to indulge my vanity and play dress up as much as possible.  Last week I played around with a cone of henna, painting anyone who would let me, until finally it started to dry up and I exhausted myself trying to squeeze out the viable portions. I even decorated my own hands and feet, I only have photos of my feet, however. Usually I never post photos of my own feet on my blog, as I know there are devotees that frequent it for the occasional Krishna-conscious post but today I will simply beg forgiveness ahead of time and ask that you not scroll down to the bottom unless you specifically wish to see the cute peacock design on my ugly feet. :)

Though I really like henna and all mehendi designs, my favorite cosmetic is still alta, first and foremost. Maybe today I'll play around with designing artwork in alta. Using traditional Bengali or Hindu insignia like swastik, peacock, kalash, fish, butterfly, vedi etc. are my favorite motifs to use in decorating hands though I specifically avoid placing any auspicious or sacred paraphernalia drawings like vedi, kalash or swastik on the feet. I like the heart-shaped leaves and vines because they look like paan leaves, a very essential and iconic part of Bengali weddings. 

I think I did pretty well considering how I had to play contortionist just to get the right angles. 

Merriment

Today we celebrated our spiritual master's, Srila Bhakti Charu Swami, Vyasa Puja ceremony at home with the help and kindness of a few friends and family. While it was a small program, it was incredibly sweet and fulfilling. We worked throughout the day preparing the prasadam feast, garlands, flowers, cleaning and arranging furniture. My hands were corroded from handling water and garlanding all morning but I enjoyed myself. By evening time, I was incredibly exhausted and ready to crash on the nearest cushioned surface, which just so happened to be the newly placed sofa-bed. I slept for several hours only to suddenly wake up at one a.m. to the call of nature and dying of thirst simultaneously. I drank too much soda, I should know better than that by now. Sheesh!
After Tulasi-arati this morning, Krishna Chandra circumambulated, offered water and obeisances to Srimati Tulasi Devi, then offered flowers to Srila Prabhupada (large painting) and Guru Maharaj (in a smaller, photographic form). He helped me by clipping the roses and leaves for me and placing them into a bowl of water to rinse while I strung two garlands-- a long one for Srila Prabhupada and another for Gurudev. I like remembering September 17 as both Srila Prabhupada's arrival in the West and Gurudev's birthday so I can commemorate them both on the same day... today is a very, very special day for me, for ISKCON. During the daytime, Purandar Acharya and Chandaneśwar prabhus cooked a nice feast, I started cleaning and rearranging furniture once my help was no longer needed in the kitchen.
My bedroom was really messy and untidy, even though I hate to admit it-- I'm glad Chandaneśwar prabhu kept pushing me to clear out the mess before the feast, that way the guests could sit in the room and relax on the couch if the living or dining rooms were too crowded. Unfortunately, I don't live in the mansion I'd like or have an enormous space for accommodating many, many Vaishnavas at once but I pray to Krishna that one day this will be the case. I still have a ridiculous amount of clothing, half of which must be cleared out of my closet... somehow or other. I guess I can always drop it off at the temple and hope someone can use it. I want to rid myself of all my old karmi clothes and start designing and sewing my new wardrobe. I have several fabric bolts sitting in my closet as I type, anxiously awaiting for proper engagement. They whisper sweet-nothings in my ear when no one else is around and the room is quiet enough to hear a pin drop. I wonder if anyone suspects my sewing insanity? I must finish other projects first though including a new Deity outfit in green and magenta pink I've been scheming. We'll see what happens next, it will all come to pass just as the Lord desires.

A Musing, Of Course

It's Trisprsa Mahadvadasi and Annada Ekadasi here in Radha Kalachandji Dham today, it is also His Holiness Gopal Krishna Goswami's Vyasa puja day. Our landlord, a disciple of Maharaj, wanted to do the program and feast today so early in the morning we all started pitching in our share of work to make it happen. He invited some god-brothers over to celebrate and soon the house was bustling with busy bees. Garlands, prasadam, arati, kirtan... it was all shaping up to be a nice program. Unfortunately, not everyone could make it this morning but we had a puspañjali and kirtan anyhow. There will be prasadam served again for dinner, I had so much at lunch that I can barely move. I photographed the maha-prasadam plate so you could all see how many preparations they made-- on Ekadasi, no less!

cauliflower paneer, samo seeds, palak paneer, plantain chips, watermelon, yams, fruit salad and 'regular' salad

 I wanted to post photographs of the Deities' new Janmastami outfits for you. Jagannath Baladev Subhadra and Baby Gopal got new outfits on Janmastami but I couldn't swing Gaura Nitai and Madan Gopal's in time. They should be finished by Radhastami.

Jagannath Baladev Subhadra and Ladhu Gopal in Their new ivory outfits

Plus, today I worked a few rows on the Elise shawl and took a photo to record my progress, she's at ten inches tall and fourteen inches wide. I'm excited about her.. the multiple personality scarf is.... well, a different story. I'm almost finished but I can't decide how long I really want her to be. Don't ask. 

 

Elise at fourteen inches

I've concluded that working anything finer than size three is inviting insanity or disaster or both, therefore, I will not be working anything in size ten crochet cotton ever again. Hopefully, I will remember this important vow in future incarnations, assuming that my next lifetimes will also be afflicted with crochet-addiction. I would tattoo this instruction to my arm (along with other useful information) but I know that it'd be useless. Utterly useless. 

Sri Festival-utsav

Haribol everyone!

Well yesterday was Janmastami and I managed to finish Jagannatha Baladev Subhadra and Baby Gopal's  new ivory brocade outfits. I'm still in the process of working Gaura Nitai and Madan Gopal's  outfits, plus, I have another project lined up-- hopefully everything will be complete by Radhastami. Also, did I tell you that we ordered Srimati Radharani's silver anklets for Her? I also ordered another "fancy" set for myself... yes, I did just get new ankle bells a while back but my husband loves me dearly and who am I to argue with him over how he shows his affection? They should all arrive by Radhastami as well; I can't wait to see Sri Radhe's ankle bells  hopefully She will get to wear them on Radhastami. Their Lordships will have two new outfits in Their wardrobe by then. With each new outfit, I'm getting more practice and learning things each time around and having so much fun with creative projects. The outfits are also better each time around and have become more opulent and elaborate. I'm glad I took a chance with sewing Deity outfits, if I hadn't, I would have been out a lot of cash buying outfits and would've never known the fun and challenging service of Deity jewelry and sewing. I have to work on my turban-making, though, I'm thinking about using Styrofoam balls to first shape and form the turban rather than making them directly on the Deity. Right now, I'm thinking up idea for the next outfit which will be green and magenta combination. When I have Them dressed up, I will remember to photograph Them and keep record of each outfit, color combinations and embellishments for future ideas. 

Today is Nandotsav-- Nanda Baba's festival for Krishna's birthday and the Appearance Day of Srila Prabhupada. I'm so exhausted from fasting and running around all day yesterday that I didn't even feel like going to the temple today, I got bathed and dressed but I think I'll wait until Srila Prabhupada's abhishek begins til I head down to the temple in order to avoid the crowd. Plus, I'm watching the Janmastami festival going on right now in Sri Mayapur Dham. If you want to see Sri Mayapur Chandroday Mandir you can view their webcam by visiting Mayapur.tv. They also have links to other live temple broadcasts.

Yesterday, Chandaneswar prabhu cooked several preparations for Sri Krsna Janmastami, it was offered during sandhya-bhoga, then sold in the maha-prasada stall in the festival. One devotee made my husband aware that immediately upon transferring his offerings to the maha-prasadam stall, it sold out. A gentleman purchased a single bowl, dipped his finger and tasted it, then  bought out everything on the tray! He asked Chandaneswar prabhu how it was possible for him to cook so many preparations and to give him the recipes for each dish. Prabhu usually cooks anywhere from eight to one dozen preparations for Kalachandji on Janmastami and everyone is always stunned at the quality and quantity of his preps. Usually the maha-prasad is distributed during the feast; his preps are so famous that devotees will fight over morsels of specialty dishes. I feel increasingly proud as I watch devotees hide bowls of curd dishes, vegetable curries and milk sweets in a secret place to retrieve it later. 

Smaranam

On Sunday I lost my 'D' crochet hook at the temple, it was my own fault really, I should have never carried my work with me in a frazzled and overwhelmed condition. I almost lost my cell phone as well... recovered it quickly though. Since then, I've sparsely worked on the multi-personality scarf and Elise is taking a little vacation.

Ladhu Gopal, Choto JBS and larger JBS

On other news, I started a new project for the Deities. Chandaneswar prabhu purchased a couple yards of creamy silky-soft brocade fabric and a dazzling sheer stretch lace for new Janmastami/Balaram Purnima outfits. Which brings me to some good/bad news. Bad for me, great mercy for someone else. I will be sending off my choto Jagannath Baladev Subhadra deities with a close friend of mine. She will be adopting Them and taking Them home on Balaram Purnima. I want to finish the new outfits for Them before tomorrow as a "house-warming/don't be pissed off at me for giving you away, I still love you more than my very life; this is more heart-breaking than you'll ever know" gift.  So far, I'm very pleased with the materials and it's working up to be a great outfit.  I will post pictures of the outfit, later today hopefully, when they are completed. I'll also post photos of my darling JBS deities; as much as I love Them, I can not take care of so many Deities, not reasonably, anyhow.
While I was in Sri Mayapur, I acquired two sets of JBS deities at an extraordinary price; the problem was that I only needed one set for a friend. We ended up purchasing the both, 6" and 4" JBS as we couldn't get a reasonable price elsewhere and decided to keep the 4" set for ourselves. Our choto-Jagannath deities came to us over five years ago and it was all due to the famous Hurricane Katrina. When Katrina hit, New Orleans took shelter in different towns and cities, fleeing the scene was not possible for the temple deities and many sevaks, pujaris and cooks stayed behind to care for Radha Radha-Kanta, Gaura Nitai and Jagannath Baladev Subhadra. After a couple weeks the devotees called for help; Dallas devotees sent out a rescue crew and subsequently, New Orleans temple and devotees took refuge in Radha Kalachandji Dham. The New Orleans deities stayed in Dallas for about five months and returned home in January 21, 2006-- I still remember the date and occurrences to this day. There was a huge festival welcoming the Deities, many devotees shed tears of love, some trembled and others, unable to control their emotions shouted in joy. They embraced us and one another, crying and sobbing, as if reunited with a long-lost relative or dear friend. There was a feast, fire yajña and celebrations with an award ceremony, plaques and gifts for the heroism, hospitality and bravery of Dallas devotees. While everyone was delighted upon the return of Their Lordships, I  felt excruciating pain; having been enamoured by the charm and beauty of Sri Sri Radha Radha-Kanta, I found it unbearable to be separated from Them. During the award ceremony, we were given a small 2.5" set of JBS deities, we were thanked and blessed many times over by grateful Vaisnavs the entire weekend. When I returned home, I accepted this small souvenir and token of love from the devotees wholeheartedly and began worship of Their Lordships immediately. JBS had no clothes, ornaments or crowns and none were available in our gift-shop, that is when I first started sewing Deity outfits and jewelry-making.
Now, They will be accepting the services of a wonderfully sweet Vaisnavi; hopefully, I'll still get to visit them and render service frequently. I'll have to have a little chat with Their Lordships before They set off to Their new home... I hope they don't give my friend a hard time since They have a history of naughty behavior. More importantly, I hope I don't freak out and cry when the time comes to send Them away. They will be sorely missed but I also want to capture this pain of separation and engage it fully into my smarana bhajan.