Śrī Rādhā-kuṇḍa

This morning I reached for the Sri Radha Kunda mati instead of the gopi-chandan to put on my tilak. It wasn't a conscious decision, really; usually, I just grab whatever is available in the morning, usually its still dark. Today, as I picked up the chunk of Sri Radha Kunda, I began thinking about how fortunate I am to have bathed in the sacred pond, apply the mud on my body and even, though fleetingly, remember that abode, form, pastimes and wonderfulbhagavats that serve and worship there. I want to share this particular verse from Sri Upadeshamrita; although my meditation is weak and fleeting, maybe by reciting this verse and remembering the glories of Sri Radha Kunda, one day I will be able to fully immerse my mind, body and soul in service and meditation upon that nectar-ocean.

The holy place known as Mathurā is spiritually superior to Vaikuṇṭha, the transcendental world, because the Lord appeared there. Superior to Mathurā-Purī is the transcendental forest of Vṛndāvana because of Kṛṣṇa's rāsa-līlā pastimes. And superior to the forest of Vṛndāvana is Govardhana Hill, for it was raised by the divine hand of Śrī Kṛṣṇa and was the site of His various loving pastimes. And, above all, the superexcellent Śrī Rādhā-kuṇḍa stands supreme, for it is overflooded with the ambrosial nectarean prema of the Lord of Gokula, Śrī Kṛṣṇa. Where, then, is that intelligent Person who is unwilling to serve this divine Rādhā-kuṇḍa, which is situated at the foot of Govardhana Hill?

Guru Business

I got annoyed with someone today when the first question he asked me was "which is your guru?" I may have over-reacted but still, how would you feel if someone walks up to you on the street and asks your political affiliation, your insurance, etc and makes a decision about you based on that alone. Of course, this always annoys the hell out of me, in ISKCON it has become acceptable to greet someone thus, "Haribol, who's your guru?" WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Haven't you any manners or etiquette? I don't even know your name, and you don't know mine but you think its okay to introduce yourself like that? I don't like this guru-business.. "This guru" "That guru" "His guru" "My guru" "Their guru" "our Guru" and most of all guru-preachers. You've probably met a guru-preacher but were too shocked and dismayed to say anything and were probably at a loss for words. You probably couldn't even believe the audacity of the person or that he was saying these things so you had to slap yourself once or twice through the duration of the whole ordeal.
"MY gurudev is very advanced, he is a pure devotee, he has this bhava, he has that rasa, he is so nectarean, he is so transcendental, he's a maha-bhagavat, most merciful" its an obvious materialistic comparison that I dislike altogether.You can not compare rasa and bhava like material qualities, you can not compare gurus against each other, because all spiritual qualifications are equally important and relishable. Its like saying "More pregnant, most pregnant etc." Preggers is preggers... idiots. Yes, some mellows are more intimate but that doesn't mean that your guru is better than someone else because he relishes a particular taste. Indirectly it means, "My guru is better because of such and such reason, other gurus can not compare with mine because his spiritual mellows are obviously superior." Sometimes the guru-preaching is not even so subtle, sometimes the disciples will come right out and say it. "Our gurudev is far superior, he is offering something that you can not get elsewhere, he is a pure devotee of the Lord. You should take shelter of my guru and accept initiation only from him." Luckily, this is also a good way to sort out the people to avoid from those you want to approach for siksha and guidance. I was lucky to run into a Prabhupada disciple who sat down with me and discussed at length my attraction to many gurus. He didn't say I had to stick with only one but that they were all wonderful Godbrothers and very qualified but I would eventually have to chose one diksha guru, that didn't mean I had to give up my attachment for the other Gurus as well. Then he asked me "Did you have a particular one in mind?" I said, "Yes, I have an inclination towards one" He was so elated to find out and continued to tell me all about how he loved my spiritual master so much and that I had made a good choice. I took it as as Krishna's indication and fixed my mind that day.
Another thing, there is a huge clique culture and segregation system within devotee communities that is rooted with Guru. "If you're my godbrother that automatically makes you my best friend" and everyone else is unqualified somehow. Godbrothers will sit and talk together during programs and festivals, they only talk to other devotees if they are aspiring for their guru or they actively preach their Guru to newcomers without restraint. Not just gurus though, devotees segregate themselves according to nationality and race as well, I've noticed how the Russians sit with other Russians, Asians with Asians, Indians with Indians, whites, blacks, Latinos, etc.. and you can't say its a language barrier because everyone in ISKCON regardless of nationality and race speaks some English if not excellent English. How embarrassing... and we say we're not these bodies.

Good Association

Srila Prabhupada says that the basics of spiritual life are devotee association, chanting, and hearing regularly… yesterday I was fortunate enough to get a glimpse into the hearts and minds of great devotees. I want to share what I heard with everyone here today. The topics that were discussed were heavy even for devotees… I suggest that you don’t read it unless you are a hardcore seeker of truth and know how to take it in even when it is hard to swallow.
Yesterday, Kardama Muni prabhu graced our home to drop of some work he had done for my husband’s workplace. Kardama Muni prabhu is a lithographer or printer for those of you more inclined to plain English. Usually, we don’t get any guests of his caliber to visit our home, at least not very often, so I was very happy when they began to chat amongst themselves. Thankfully, I had some work in the kitchen and was within proximity to eavesdrop here and there. The conversation went from material body, material world to more deep and meaningful realizations. He spoke about how we are very proud of our accomplishments as so-called Vaishnavas but how we have little or no understanding of real Vaishnava mood, etiquette and mentality. I wondered if he felt that way about himself and then within a few short moments he said something that blew me away. He was recently reading the Uddhava-Gita,the words spoken by Sri Krishna unto Uddhava, and he said that the definition and symptoms of a devotee described therein alone put him to shame, “Just the symptoms of a devotee, his qualities…..” he said, “I am humiliated.” as his voice cracked, his eyes swelled in emotion and his hands began to tremble. I stared fearlessly into the eyes of an awakened soul for when I heard this I felt an unfathomable gap, an abyss open up within the dark cavern of my heart. It was as if a great quake had shaken my very existence. “I am a disgrace, a shame, worthless.” I thought to myself as the many highways of Deception raced before my eyes, the highways to hell. My very soul was exposed within the matter of seconds and I began to cry streams of tears in great shame. This conversation ensued in what can only be described as radical honestly without any inhibition or shame. Pure unadulterated truth. Now I realize that I have deceived everyone around me throughout the duration of my life. What a fraud I am! It was the truth that I knew inside but was too ashamed to admit to others for fear, anxiety that I would be misunderstood. Here, stood a wonderful devotee who proclaimed this very truth and reassured me from within, “I am a fraud, I am a fallen soul.” I can now admit it aloud without fear and I don’t hide it thinking that I may offend others. I know I am a fraud, a disgrace, a truly miserable mleccha but what other choice have I got? My heart is full of lust and greed and my mind is full of pride and envy. Never in my entire life have I engaged in any pious activities, never have I sincerely surrendered to the Lord or begged for Him through His Holy Name but still I must at least try.