Monday, June 25, 2012

If I don't let you in...

If I don't let you in....

it's not because I don't like you.
it's not because I don't trust you.
it's not because I don't respect you.
it's not because I don't want your friendship
it's not because you're not worth my time.
it's not because I think I could do better.
it's not because I think you're beneath me.
it's not because I think it's waste of energy.

It's all of the above. 

I don't like you. 
I don't trust you. 
I don't respect you. 
I don't want your friendship because
You're not worth my time.
I could do much better.
You're beneath me and
a waste of energy. 

 I bet you guys thought I was going to say some idiotic pseudo-inspirational, "It's not you it's me/I'm afraid of showing you the real me." self-conscious, emo-bull. Well, no, as a matter of fact I'm in the mood for validating my reasons and genuine feelings. So, in that sense I guess it is a little 'emo'. In all seriousness, though, I don't have time for certain things lately. I've cut back on a lot of indulgences and honestly, I didn't think I'd be able to sacrifice so much. I have a desire to serve more, read and write my devotional feelings. Krishna Consciousness is hard. Really. You have to push yourself constantly or you don't grow. You fall stagnant and lazy and dull. DULL. I heard someone say once that the body can endure all kinds of conditions, you just have to push yourself. It's a matter of conquering the mind and I believe Krishna Consciousness is exactly the same. We don't push ourselves. We're lazy and dull-headed. Some even more than others.
I don't mind if you share this rant but please link back to my blog. Busy day today, that's all I have time for this entry. Sorry, everyone, I haven't been keeping up with the blog and I apologize sincerely. I will try and transfer some of my personal journal entries into the blog so you know what I've been thinking and writing lately. They're mostly prayers and stuff like that but it's appropriate for this blog so I'll go ahead and bring it in. Hare Krishna, yo.

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