Saturday, May 28, 2011
Do you ever lie awake at night for no apparent reason? I don't know.. but sometimes I do. maybe I'm just going insane. I'm having trouble sleeping at night, thoughts seem to come rushing back to the surface. Tonight I'm haunted by things from my past, things that happened that I thought I could push out of my mind. Some of it is surreal and some of it is so lucid-- its as if the past came back to life. It's almost like I can re-live my experiences again; I see the same sights, hear the same sounds, even feel the same sensations. Maybe its a good thing, to have my memory resurface and gasp for fresh air... refreshed, if you will. It's not like I have a 'refresh' button for my brain and all the contents within but today I'm coming close to spilling the mental-beans. I've spent all these years trying to kill the demons, trying to stifle feelings inside me, hiding them and running away. I would much rather release all those stifled and repressed memories inside me. Unleash the demons inside me. Resuscitate them, nourish them. Ask them how they like their coffee. We have a lot to talk about.