Where are you?

This morning I was terribly annoyed after encountering a pile of old papers (that I intended to toss out with the rubbish yesterday), I threw them aside for the time being and reminded myself to deal with it later. Meanwhile, I had much more urgent matters to address and required the laptop to do some research. You see, my husband and I planned to wash his new diamond earring, offer it to the Deities and only then place it on his left ear today (because its Friday, you know? ;) ). I argued with him about whether or not the proper mantras for Shukra graha were to be chanted prior to this mini-ceremony but none of this mattered because neither of us had knowledge of said mantra or access to it anyhow. Hah! He flipped through his Bengali panjika while began my cyber-expedition for Shukra mantras and strorams.... He relented, "There is no mantra for Shukragraha, does not matter." I begged for another minute on the web and Eureka! "There is a mantra for Shukra and I have got it, my dear Watson!" We finished the ritual and prabhu placed the diamond earring on the lobe of his left ear; we laughed and giggled like little school-kids. Oohing and ahhing. I threw compliments into the newly decorated ears of my loving husband and teased him a little bit too. "Be careful, prabhu, someone might try and rob you! You might want to start carrying some protection!" he laughed and added "If this could be India, they will immediately notice and slice my ear right off!" Funny but true... We laughed away, noting how cunning and determined the thieves in India can be. Afterward, prabhu headed off to sleep and, finding myself in an optimistic mood, I decided to rummage through the old papers and see if there was anything salvageable. Yesterday, I was going through papers and found some of my first Bengali scribbles. My penmanship was better then than it is now... easy to believe. Among them I found this, it has been stashed away for years and has now come out to breathe fresh air. I wanted to post the untitled blabber here for you to read, its more like a diary rant than actual writing but I hope you enjoy it in any case.


Tuesday September 26, 2006

Where are you hiding? I've searched throughout the depths and breadths of my heart and soul and I have yet to find You. Where is this lengthy journey taking me? Wherefore this infinitesimal tour? Tell me Prabhu, please, where are You, before I lose much more; I've nothing left to give You. You've exhausted me completely, even the strongest warriors could never be a match for You. How can I possibly go on? I have no strength left in me, I've lost all my sober mind and body to the illusion of this material world. What else do You want from me? I'm giving You my very soul... and yet You are never satisfied.

-Your worthless one

Makhan chor!
Where are You?