Thursday, June 4, 2009

My Nirjala Ekadashi

Yesterday was Nirjala Ekadashi, here in my neck of the woods. My husband did a full fast from food and water and I did my normal 'Ekadashi' fast. No grains or beans. Hehe :) I have heard devotees say that it's not necessary to do a full fast unless you've broken an Ekadashi and want to make up for it but I still don't feel well when my husband is fasting for 24 hours and I'm gorging myself on paneer and vegetable curries like there is no tomorrow. I realise that I can't fast, because of my health and because I'm still breastfeeding Krishna Chandra, but I still wanted to do something special for Nirjala. I couldn't do fasting so I decided to do chanting. I gathered all of my strength (mental, physical and spiritual alike) and set off to chant... Mmmm... 32 rounds? Maybe.... I wasn't sure. I started chanting and quickly gained "momentum" (by quickly I mean, two or three hours later). I have to admit that I don't usually feel like chanting extra rounds but I push myself anyway. Somehow, by the power of Ekadashi, I was motivated and finished the sum of 48 rounds. Good solid rounds. I felt very satisfied with the quality of my rounds as well as the quantity, which is not a very frequent occurence. I wanted to do another 16 but thought that maybe I was just going for a number rather than quality, so I just stopped at 48... Besides, I was hungry again! :P It was getting late (we're talking 9pm, lol) so I took some prasadam and headed off to bed after checking some e-mails etc.
At night, as I retreated to my slumber palace, I was surprised to find my prabhu fast asleep in my bed with my blankies and my pillows right next to my little one, Krishna Chandra. I knew he would be home, because he took the night off from work, but I was still surprised to actually see him there. We used to have separate beds/bedrooms (due to our conflicting schedules and his annoying snoring) but lately we've had to rearrange our sleeping quarters. Krishna Chandra started spending more time upstairs and we fixed it up to be his own little play place. Slowly the upstairs was converted into Krishna Chandra's playroom and my husband was pushed to the downstairs bedroom(my bedroom). Last night when Krishna Chandra woke up to see my husband and I sleeping in the same place, at the same time, he was totally confused. You should have seen the look of bewilderment on his face! As he searched about the bed for milk, he carefully examined both our faces, and squinted carefully to see who was who. He looked at me, up and down to see any visible signs to distinguish me by and did the same to my husband. In the pitch of night, he had such a hard time distinguishing between the two of us that he remained hesitant. Usually, Krishna Chandra will open up my nightgown and start nursing without a care in the world but yesterday he didn't dare venture further to find out.... Instead, he sat upright in bed and waited for someone to attend to him. As this was happening, I pretended to be fast asleep while stifling my hysterical laughter inside... my husband woke up to the sound of Krishna Chandra's sighs for milk and started to rouse me. "Madri, look at Krishna Chandra, he's looking for milk, just see! He is searching for your face and then mine, back and forth, back and forth... Look, look, how he's looking for you!" Poor baby! Haha, I just laughed at his plight. After that fun, I took Krishna Chandra and cuddled with him while he nursed himself to sleep. He fell asleep again rather quickly, considering that he had slept since early that evening. Sweet dreams!
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