Saturday, October 31, 2015

Intimate Notes

Yesterday I performed the Bach Violin Concerto in A minor, Allegro movement for recital. It was the best performance I've done of the Bach so far, and I'm not finished polishing it yet, so I have good reason to believe it could be even better next month. I'm really satisfied with it because I put my best foot forward and gave it my best effort. What more can I ask for? The Lord has been merciful and blessed me with ample gifts; I am only now starting to fully understand and appreciate them.
Sometimes I write things I intend for the whole world to read, and other times I write things I never intend for anyone to read. I don't know why I felt compelled to share these notes today because I've held on to them closely with every intention of keeping them hidden and taking them to the grave. In reality they are notes written only for my own eyes but I'm sharing them in hopes that someone can appreciate them.

A Love Note to the Heart:
Babe, I know you feel alone, down, and worried. I know you want things that you can't have and have received what you never wanted, but just live with it! Tolerate the desire and hang on, girl. I know it feels like you're lost and on the wrong path, but there's a reason the Lord has taken it all away and given all this to you instead! This is your path; you walk alone but always, forever, and eternally in the company and presence of the Lord.

An Apology in Earnest:
I want to first thank you for your attention and compliment.  I also want to acknowledge, respect and appreciate you for taking a moment of your time to acknowledge me. I should also apologize, however, because I did not acknowledge, respect, appreciate, or reciprocate in that moment. I even ignored and avoided you out of fear of being discovered. I don't want you to think I'm callous, self-involved, and vain (though it is so) because I failed to acknowledge your presence. I need you to know that I intentionally ignored and avoided you because I was afraid that others would see just how much I truly relish your attention. For that I am truly sorry. Please know that I don't want anyone to know where my heart lies. Like a precious treasure, I keep my heart heavily guarded so that others may not plunder it. Please understand.
Apnar kinkar~

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