Sunday, February 26, 2012

Stripped

During kirtan today, I had the strangest sensation of being stripped naked, whittled down to the very essence of my self. I saw all obscurities in my heart revealed within the vibration of the Holy Name I suddenly had a great overwhelming fear of my very being. I don't know why I felt like this today, as if I was completely alone, stark naked before My Lords and no matter how I tried to regain my composure and steady my mind, the more engrossing the sensation became. I was awkward and clumsy as if suddenly everyone was watching me and could see my true identity, I felt the need to cover myself up more than necessary, to hide the hideousness of my heart. I fled the temple without even bowing out before exiting. I realise more than every that I am alone and no manner of pretension or theatrics will rectify it. I am alone before the Lord.
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