Thursday, March 12, 2009

Abusive Teen Relationships

Today I watched the Tyra Banks show and realised how desperately Tyra is trying to make her show a serious talk-show the likes of Oprah। The topic was abusive teenage relationships, and the first couple on the show infuriated me so much, I wondered if there was any sense of balance or fairness in the world at all. The couple, Edwin and Leighann, both 17 year-olds, have been together for a while and have a son together. Immediately, Leighann describes a situation full of bloody violence which will lead one to wonder, "Where in the hell is the mother in all this?" Apparently, despite the "abuse" and mistreatment, this is the first time that Leighann's mother has even heard of it, despite her "suspicions". Then, as Edwin, mild-mannered and quiet, explains away his side of the story I quickly realized that the entire ethos was surcharged with one-sided blame put solely on the boy. He explains about how Leighann "antagonizes" him by screaming and shouting, and when that doesn't work, she will resort to physical tactics. Usually, the situation escalates from a relatively small arguement, where Leighann will try to dig in her heels, despite many relatively calm warnings from Edwin. When Edwin finally breaks down and punches or shoves Leighann back, Tyra along with her sycophant psychologist will point it out and focus solely on his "abusive" nature, and by use of degrading language like, "you're not a complete animal" try to convince him that he is a cold-hearted determined abuser of women, because he needs to feel "manly and in control". Basically, the message women are giving men is this: It's okay for women to run their mouths, even punch and shove men but if you hit her back, it's WRONG and you're an animal! It is never, never, never okay to put your hands on a woman-- really? Even if she batters you first? Where do we draw the line? I'm sure Edwin could call the police and file domestic abuse charges on his girlfriend. To me, it sounds like two teenagers fighting it out, like a couple of um... immature teenagers. Why does the mother allow her daughter to get involved in a sexual relationship anyway? Nobody asked Leighann why she has a two year old baby and is only 17 yrs old herself. Why doesn't anyone hold her accountable for her actions? Where are the equal rights in this? Never mind that, I know that there has to be some kind of psychological ramifications for this. Let's see it like this, a woman with two kids always takes the side of one son while the other is left out in the cold. Isn't easily to understand how this could seriously damage a person? This isn't just a hypothetical question, because we all know someone who had this kind of situation and suffered greatly for it. So, yes, right now we have an unlevel playing field, and women are basking in the bright rays "equal" rights, while men are being emasculated at every turn. Women are like bad dog trainers who rub the puppy dog's nose in his own poop or hit him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and say, "No, bad dog! Bad dog!" We set this double standard and hold men responsible for their actions while women have no accountability. So yeah, let's punish the boy because he's a no-good, low-down, wife beater!
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