Self Delusion

This week we had a pre-writing assignment for English Comp. that I was not sure I would be comfortable doing. We were supposed to write about a song that elicits vivid memories, emotions, or a person, and describe every detail of that memory. Immediately upon reading the assignment, a specific song and its associated memories came to mind: suddenly my mind filled with dense smoke, the smell of a diesel engine, and anxious anticipation.
At first the assignment seemed exactly like the kind of evocative release I need in my life. Typically I do not realise how much I suppress my emotions, thoughts, and opinions until I have the opportunity to resist my defensive self. This assignment forced me to speak outside of my comfort zone on a topic that I usually like to avoid: self-destruction, lies, illicit acts, and manipulation. For one, I don't like to admit being duped, on the other hand, I know that I played an active role in allowing myself to be made a fool. I temporarily ignored all logic and reason, and in silent ignorance, I pursued bliss. There is nothing more pleasurable than deluding yourself into believing something, even if it destroys you in the end.