Thursday, February 25, 2010

Mountains of Service

Gaura Purnima is coming up and I’m getting ready by preparing the Lord’s new outfits. My husband, Chandaneswar Prabhu, says that I should finish them soon but I didn’t realise how much work needed to get done, so I procrastinated and now I’m feeling the consequences. I’ve only finished the interfacing/lining or whatever you call it. (You can tell here that I’m a novice and fairly unfamiliar with terminology but I don’t care so shut up!)

Speaking of familiar… I still wonder what my familiar would be, wolf or tiger? I don’t particularly care for other animals besides some dogs and small pets. I always wanted an exotic animal familiar but I have not decided which one. know what supernatural power I want; I’ve always wanted to be able to start fires from my palms. I’ve even dreamt about it, I burned demons with my fireballs and walls of fire… I don’t know but I think I may have picked that up from DnD and other role-playing games. Can’t remember anymore. How the hell did I end up talking about this? I know I had a purpose coming here… oh, right… expression.

Have you ever wondered about people’s intentions towards you? Sometimes I feel dejected because I make friends with people and later I realise (or wonder if) they are not genuinely my friends. I’ve noticed that my so-called friends only talk to me when they need something but are quick to ditch me in other situations; maybe this is all in my head but I really doubt it these days. I guess I’m just a little depressed so I thought I’d write away in hopes that the distress would melt away. Sometimes I wish that nobody ever knew me, then maybe I wouldn’t have to deal with the disappointments in life that come from relationships. It seems easier to just not even bother with some people rather than risk getting emotionally injured.

 

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